Goodbye to Our Little Buddy... Laid to Rest Friday, June 12, 2026

A week after Oliver turned 15, we took him to be with his maker. He had such a great time celebrating his birthday the week before on our quick trip to Kansas City. But when we got back, on Sunday, June 7, he started going downhill. He stopped eating, wouldn’t take his medication, and was having trouble standing. It was almost as though his little body said, “I made it to 15, and now I’m ready to rest.”

I had a conference scheduled Wednesday through Friday this week. Carrie took Oliver to the vet on June 10 so they could take a look at him. They gave him a steroid shot since he was coughing, having difficulty breathing, and struggling in just about every aspect of being a dog. I left that morning to drive to Emporia for the conference and told Carrie to keep me posted.

I was able to talk to Carrie around 1:00 on Wednesday. The vet told us his little body was failing. The steroid helped with the coughing, but with a collapsed trachea and an enlarged heart, it was clear that his time was near.

I’ll admit, I was naive. I thought we might have a few more months, continuing his medication three times a day and just enjoying having him with us a little longer. But his little body had other plans, and his decline happened quickly.

I can still remember when his cough first started. It really wasn’t that long ago, Martin Luther King Jr. weekend. That Sunday, he was playing in the family room, wrestling with a blanket, when he laid down for a minute. Suddenly, he got up and made a horrible sound. More of a yelp than a cough, really. But that became the cough we knew for the next four and a half months. Some days were worse than others, and there were nights when he, and us, were up most of the night as he struggled to breathe.

Someone mentioned to me last week that when they saw my post last week (see Fifteen Years with Oliver), they thought it was about Oliver passing. At the time, I was glad to say no, he was still going and still causing problems. How quickly that changed. What I thought had become our normal of medication and coughing turned into a rapid decline and conversations about putting him down. It’s a very difficult decision when you are saying goodbye to a member of your family.

I want to share a few memories of Oliver over the years.

Some of my favorite names I would call Oliver... other than Oliver included Tappie Toes, Doofus, Handsome, Sweet Cheeks, Precious Pancake, Tee Tee Rodriguez, Handsome Pants, Fussy Britches, and I am sure many others....

One of my favorites is from when he was a puppy. We got him in September 2011, and he was born in June 2011, so this was probably October or November. We were chasing him through the house one evening, and he was flying through the living room at full speed. He wasn’t quite in control of his back end, and as he came through, it drifted to the side and he ran straight into the coffee table with his backside. He stopped immediately and looked at us like he couldn’t understand why we would have hit him. He might have yelped a little too. Poor guy.

Joan and Eddie always took such wonderful care of Oliver when we traveled, and Oliver truly looked forward to spending time with them. Every visit felt special, full of attention, comfort, and familiar routines that made being away easier for all of us. While we were gone, Joan would thoughtfully share pictures, giving us peace of mind and little glimpses of Oliver’s happiness. Knowing Oliver was so well cared for and genuinely enjoying the time made every trip more relaxed and reassuring.

Oliver always got excited when we told him that we was going to see his Aunt Erin and Uncle Greg. Another person Oliver had a special connection with was Uncle Greg. He would light up every time he saw Greg. 

Another favorite was our trip to Crystal Beach, Texas, in 2016, his first and only time seeing the ocean. He was so intrigued. He would run toward the water, then sprint away when the waves came in. Eventually he got into the water, but it took him a while. At one point, we decided to take him off his leash so he could really enjoy it. That turned out to be a mistake. He took off at full speed down the beach, running through people’s setups while they laughed and pointed. We eventually caught him and got the leash back on.

Mom shared a couple of great stories about when Oliver stayed with her. One time, she took him out back without a leash. He walked out into the yard, turning back to check on her every few steps, making sure everything was okay. Once he finished his business, he came straight back inside with her.

Another time, when Mom wasn’t feeling well, she went to bed early and Oliver stayed in the room with her. Normally, he would wake up around 6:00 a.m., head downstairs, and perch on the back of her chair to watch for people and dogs to bark at. But that morning, he stayed with her and didn’t leave until she was ready to get up. She just told me that story recently.

There was also the time he tried to get on her bed. Oliver is used to sleeping on the bed with us, so he naturally assumed the same rules applied. Mom told him no after he had already jumped up, and from her description, he seemed surprised and quickly got down. After that, he never tried it again.

Oliver had a special bond with my sister Dina. From the time he was a puppy all the way through adulthood, we could say her name and he would perk up. I think a big part of that was that Dina would pet him for as long as he wanted, which was basically forever. A few months ago, we were able to have Dina watch Oliver while we were out of town for the first and only time. I wish we could have done that more. I know they both enjoyed it. Even later in life, if we mentioned Dina or Grandma, he would start looking around, expecting them to walk through the door.

Brenda and Javier were also on his favorites list. Oliver would get excited when we said their names and try to figure out when he might see them again. Brenda had Patches, and the two of them were best friends. When they first met at our house, even through the glass, it was like they had known each other forever. From that point on, they were often together, going on little adventures or just resting near each other. Even after Patches passed, we could still say his name and Oliver would perk up.

Since he was a puppy, Oliver always wanted to be with us, no matter where we were in the house. He kept close tabs on us, moving from room to room to stay nearby. If we went into the bathroom and closed the door, he would paw at it until we let him in. Eventually, we just got used to leaving the door open.

At times, he would get a little too involved and climb into my underpants while I was trying to take care of business. More recently, he would just come in, lay down facing the door, and keep watch. I liked to think he was protecting me. It’s something I’m going to miss more than I expected.

I’m also going to miss the nightly routine of him herding us to bed. Around 10:00, he would start letting us know it was time. He wouldn’t usually go upstairs without us, but he would stand in the kitchen and look at us like we were the problem. On weekends, when we stayed up later, he would eventually come back into the family room and lie down, clearly unhappy with our choices.

And then there was the licking at night. He would lick my elbow, ears, and hand if I let him, and most of the time I did. He could go for hours before moving on to Carrie’s legs. I don’t know what he got out of it, but it was oddly relaxing, and I think it soothed him too as he settled in for the night.

Losing a pet is incredibly hard. This is the third one I’ve lost. The first was Captain when I was young, and I remember that pain clearly. Then Carrie brought Sidney into my life. I had never been much of a cat person, but Sidney won me over. When we had to say goodbye to him in June 2011, Carrie and I were a mess for a week.

Now here we are again. It’s Saturday as I write this, the day after we said goodbye to Oliver. Carrie and I are a mess. I still expect to hear his tappie toes while I’m watching Royals baseball. I expect to see him when I wake up. I expect to hear him scratching at the bathroom door. But none of that will happen now.

He’s gone, but we have so many memories and so many pictures.

He was a great friend and a loyal companion. I can’t believe he’s gone, but I know he’s in a better place, and he can breathe again.

I love you, Oliver Haverty. You were the best dog in the world, and we were so lucky to have you in our lives.

See all the photos I could find of Oliver on my Flickr page. There are quite a few, along with some videos as well. I know this is something I’ll come back to often as I remember my sweet Oliver. 

Oliver Album on Flickr.

Grilling Time... Chicken

I got my 28 minute run (12 min mile) in last night after work. It was a good run and I felt good afterwards. Following my run (and a shower) I grilled a little bit. We grilled simple chicken on the grilled and then as they were almost done I slathered BBQ sauce on them. Oh, they were so good... if I do not say so myself. We also did squash on the grill. We did the squash in aluminium foil and they also turned out great! The last thing we grilled, but we did not eat last night, was asparagus on the grill. We will have that one night this week.

Overall, it was a good grilling experience as none of the chicken stuck to the grill. I have started a new technique that I believe is helping a lot. I am not sure if I read this somewhere or not, but I get the grill as hot as it can go before putting the meat on the fire. I leave it this way for a few minutes to sear the meat before turning down the flame. I repeat this process again after flipping. So far it has been working very nicely. I use to lose half of the whatever I was grilling by it sticking to the grill. This is much easier and gives a better appearance.

OK, you knew I could not post a new blog without talking a little about our boy Sidney. Well, last night was the first time we grilled since we put him down. Yes, it was odd! For eleven years now, whenever I grill I have had to try and keep Sidney inside while I go in and out grilling. From our house in Lawrence to this house in Topeka, he has always tried to escape while I am grilling. Often times this causes me to be carrying whatever we are grilling outside and jumping on one foot as I try to keep Sidney inside.

He would get so excited when we would let him outside while I was grilling. He almost had that look on his face like he won. Well, I guess he did in those times when he got outside to eat grass and sniff around the back patio. I missed battling the boy while I was grilling. I missed hearing him meow and purr as he stood inside the house watching me through the door. Each time I move towards the door he would meow. Ah, yes, I miss all of that....

It was a pleasant surprise last night as I was grilling with my sister Dina calling me. We chatted for a bit and it was just her calling to check in on what was happening. After I hung up, I told Carrie it was odd not to talk Kansas basketball with her in our phone conversation. It was also very nice and I hope something we all continue to do with one another in our family... check up on each other and stay informed of what each other are doing.

I had another pleasant surprise just as I was getting ready to head to bed with my brother Tim calling me. We chatted for a bit and it was very nice! He was calling to see how Carrie and I were doing a week after we put Sidney down. He said he was sitting on his back patio smoking a cigar and relaxing in the nice cool weather we were having last evening. We had a good chat and it was nice!

Both of these conversations reminded me that my sister Jennie called on Saturday just as I was headed out to play golf. I told her I would call her on Sunday.... I forgot! Opps! I am going to try and call her tonight to catch up and see how she is doing.

That is all for now... Have a great Wednesday! About a week until I leave for vacation and I can hardly wait! So much to do at work, but I think I can get it all in before we leave.

More Sidney Stories....

Well, I was going to add additional memories to the previous post of Sidney, but I decided I would simply post additional blogs.

Carrie and I were remembering other Sidney stories and two came to mind....

The first one was how Sidney would get on our bed and then hunt through the covers to find a place to sleep. I am not sure I am going to be able to describe how he did it and we never did get it on video. Basically, he would go under the covers and put his head down and then raise it up so as to move the sheets up so he could go further under them. He would repeat this over and over until he got to the place (or position) he was seeking under the sheets on the bed. Watching this from the bedroom door always made us laugh. He was working so hard just to find that perfect spot under the sheets. Once he found the spot, he would be there for hours and sometimes all afternoon or evenings sleeping.

Sidney first started going under the covers when we were in the process of selling our house in Lawrence. Our house had been through a few showings, so we had been gone for the afternoon. We came home to find Sidney out in the family room and everything seemed normal. When we went into our bedroom, we could see that there was almost a tunnel under blankets that were nice and neat when we had left. As we investigated what might have had happened, we figured out it was Sidney that had gone under the covers under the sheets to find that perfect spot. He had tunneled his way about halfway down from the pillows to the middle of the bed. I am sure that people going through the house wondered what was wrong with our bed and what the lump was in our bed.

Carrie told me that he use to sleep under the sheets all the time when he was a kitten. The time I saw this in our house in Lawrence was the first time I had seen him tunnel into the blankets. From that point on including when we moved to Topeka, Sidney would continue to tunnel in sheets throughout the house. Whether they were on our bed (where he primarily do this), other beds in the house, or blankets in our family room. We loved it and miss this behavior from our little kitty.

The second one has to do with Sidney waiting for us when we would be getting ready in the the morning. Again, no pictures from this, but we have it in our memories and we miss seeing him waiting for us as we get out of the shower.

Sometimes when we would get up in the mornings, Sidney would be no where in site. Obviously, he had found a place to sleep other than our bed. This could be possibly in one of the spare bedrooms, down stairs in the in one of the rooms, or tucked away in a closet somewhere in a room where we forgot to close the door. We never thought much about it as we were getting ready. But then, about the time we were getting in the shower, here would come Sidney slowly into the bathroom. Walking as though he had been partying all night and was not sure why we were up so early. Typically this is during the week as we are getting ready for work, but he also did this routine on the weekends too.

Sidney would walk into the bathroom and either sit in front of the shower or walk over to one of the sinks and sit on the floor mat. Lick his paws, clean his ears, or lay down to rest a bit more as we prepared to get in the shower. Usually as we would exit the shower he would have changed his location to be right in front of the shower. There, he would sit on the mat and as we finished our shower, we would have to step over him all the time dripping water all over him as we grabbed our towel. He did not seem to mind at all as the water dripped on him. Sometimes he would make a little meow to at least let us know he was there waiting and almost to tell us to hurry up.

It was usually at this time that he would get exited and go into the shower to drink the leftover water on the shower floor. He would stay in there as the shower continued to drip and splash him, but again he did not seem to mind.

It is odd that since last Tuesday, I have not been able to remember a song that I use to sing about Sidney almost every day. I cannot even remember how the song goes or what I use to say. So odd!

Well, that is all the stories about Sidney for now. It is one week ago Tuesday that we put him down. Yes, we are doing better, but it is still difficult to be in the house without our boy walking around or snuggling up with us in the bed. I am sure we will continue to miss him and remember him for years to come. He was the best!

Sidney Our Friend... Our Cat... Put to Rest Tuesday, June 7 at 9:30 am

Oh to lose a family pet. It has been a long time since I went through the pain I am feeling today. The last time I went through this was my senior year of high school. I had a dog named Captain that I had had from the time he was a puppy to his death. With Captain, the decision was "easier" because we knew he was hurting and we could see the sores (cancer) on his chest. He would sleep in the garage and we could see where he had slept by the dampness on the ground from his chest. It was obvious the best thing to do for Captain was to put him to rest. That decision was also not mine, but I knew it was coming when my parents told me the time had come. I cried like a baby and I still miss him to this day.

On Tuesday, June 7, we put Sidney to rest. It was a difficult decision, but one that had to be made. We had watched Sidney age over the past few years and especially this last year. He lost a ton of weight and had been diagnosed with chronic renal failure. This has required us to take him to the vet four times this past year. Three of those were for enemas and those always wiped him out. We could see that he did not have near the energy he had had just a year ago and he slept a lot.

I am going to use this blog post as a memory for Sidney and to help me with my sorrow for losing a beloved pet and friend. I will discuss funny stories that Sidney did throughout the eleven years that I knew him and stories from before I knew him. I hope this brings a smile to your face and that you can relate with me on how great of a cat and friend Sidney was to Carrie and I.

I met Sidney back in October of 2000. I met him when I was dating Carrie and we had our first date after getting back from a cruise where we met. Little Sidney, all of seven years old, was still feeling frisky and that he had all of his man parts. My first meeting with Sidney was me changing the VCR tape (yes, we still had those) and Sidney trying to hump my leg. Carrie was embarrassed as her pet was trying to attack me. This happened a few more times not only when Carrie and I were dating, but up to this past month.

We would be sleeping and Sidney would jump on the bed to try and "get our legs". It made me laugh back when I first met him in 2000 and it still made me laugh a month ago. Carrie did research on it and found that it was a very common trait for cats that are neutered to do. The picture at the left is a picture from 2000-2001 of Sidney in the apartment of Brenda and Carries'. I believe he is drinking some milk in this picture.

Sidney and I lived together for a few months prior to Carrie and I getting married. This was our bonding time. When Carrie and I were dating and Carrie lived in Topeka with Brenda, I would visit their apartment and Sidney would tolerate me. Sniff me and try to hump my leg... He was not sure about this new guy that had started coming around his pad. After I proposed to Carrie and we bought a new home in Lawrence, I closed out my lease on a apartment in Lawrence and moved into our newly purchased house. Sidney moved in with me when Carrie moved back to her parents as we were preparing to get married.

Sidney became used to seeing me every day. I would pick him up and carry him like a baby only for the reason that he seemed to want that and seemed to like it. I would work with him on the computer in the basement and he would want to get in my lap. I would pick him up and work with him on my lap for most of the evening. If I moved for the slightest reason he would get irritated and jump off... only to return thirty or so minutes later wanting back on my lap. I would talk to Carrie and the phone and she could hear Sidney in the background as we spoke. I would share how Sidney and I were getting along living together and what a great kitty he was being.

One of my favorite Sidney stories is one evening (after Carrie and I were living in the house) I sneaked up on him and scared the living daylights out of him. I tried to sneak up on him all the time when we were the only ones in the house before Carrie moved in and then afterwards too. He would never let me do it.... He would hear me coming or see me and my game would be over.

One evening he was sitting at the top of the stairs with his back to the stairs. I was downstairs and I started to come up the stairs when I saw him sitting there. I knew he had not seen or heard me, so I moved cautiously up the stairs. I got on all fours and crawled up the last flight of stairs. He was still sitting there facing the kitchen and not paying any at tention.

I got to the point where I could reach and touch him... still he had no idea I was behind him. So, I reached out to touch him and he jumped five feet in the air. When he landed, he ran down the hallway to our bedroom. He paused before going into our bedroom to look back at me. He seemed somewhat surprised that I had been able to sneak up on him let alone scare him. I laughed and laughed that night. I had to tell Carrie all about it and recreate the scene for her. That was the only time I was able to scare Sidney. He never again let me sneak up on him... in that house or our house in Topeka. He always kept a eye on me and reacted at the slightest sound.

Another favorite story for which I was not present, but Carrie and Brenda told me about had to do with Sidney and Brenda's cat, Casper. Sidney was sitting on a chair minding his business. Casper jumped up on the chair and scared him. When Sidney went flying off of the chair he left a little piece of poop on the chair. Yes, Casper scared the shit out of him and he left it on the chair as proof. This is probably the reason why Sidney would never let me sneak up on him and when I finally did, it only happened the one time.

I still remember Sidney and Casper running through the apartment of Brenda and Carrie. When we would be downstairs and they would run through, it would sound like a party upstairs. They would chase each other through the house and run at full speed from the kitchen to the upstairs.

Anytime Carrie or I would sit down to use the computer (laptop), Sidney would have to jump and find a way to lay on the computer. We were never sure if he was jealous of the laptop or if it was just comfortable to lay on it knowing that we would be paying attention to it and possibly paying attention to him too. The picture to the left is one from a few years ago when he still had some meat on him, but you can see that he would lay as much on the computer as he could. When I would use the laptop, he would not do it as much with me. When Carrie would even touch the computer while on the couch, he would see her and immediately get that look in his eye that he had to get on the couch and be with her. He would circle around her a few times from one side of the couch to the other trying to find that perfect spot to lay down. He took some serious power naps by laying on the computer while one of us was "trying" to use it. He was so cute it was hard to tell him to get off or find another place to sleep.

Another favorite of ours is when Sidney would sleep between our legs. It was one of his favorites. Something he started within the last year was sleeping between my legs at night. I would wake up to find him snuggled up between my legs laying on top of the sheets. He would become irritated if I get up or need to move. The only shot we have of him in this position is another one of his favorites and that was when we were on the couch watching television.

In this picture he does not have the blankets to give the full effect, but you get the idea. He really enjoyed it when I would lay on the couch, or in my recliner, to watch football, golf, or anything else where there was a chance I might fall asleep too. I think he could sense when I was watching something that was going to put me to sleep. Or, as the case may be when I was in bed sleeping and he knew I was going to be there for the night, he would sleep on our bed between my legs.

You can see in the picture to the right how he tilts his head and really gets after the sleep. It was one of our favorites and if you look through his pictures you can see a variety of these poses where he is sleeping with his head tilted.

Another characteristic that we loved was when he was sleeping on the couch, usually by himself, he would put his forehead (or possibly nose) against the couch to sleep. It was almost as though it was comforting to him to be in this position. He would do this same sleeping style in other areas too, but primarily it was when he was sleeping on the couch.

I mentioned it early on about holding Sidney like a baby and so I had to share a picture of me holding him. Carrie and I believe he could have stayed like this for hours, but I usually had to put him down because my arms would start hurting. I think the longest I held him for was 30 minutes and even at that he had no intention of getting out of my arms.

I loved it when he would let me hold him like this and this all started back when Sidney was staying with me prior to Carrie moving in after we got married. He could and would stay like this for hours and hours. It was fantastic and I miss it so much!

As I would hold him, he would tilt his head so I could put kisses on his head. He would look back up in my eyes like I was the best thing that ever happened to him. It made me feel so good. He had just started another new "feature" in the past few months where when I would get ready to pick him up and I would bend over, he would back up into my hands so that I would pick him up. He would stretch out as I lifted him to my chest and began to cradle him. Below is a video Carrie took of us. It was taken on her phone, so the quality is not great, but you get the idea. See more videos at http://www.youtube.com/havertyj

I am not sure when it started, but at some point I started referring to Sidney as "Sidney Bodean". Sometimes I would just say "Bodean". I am not sure when it started, but it sorta stuck as Carrie would refer to Sidney as "Bodean" too sometimes. Or, we would both also always use "The Boy". We also came up with a few songs about Sidney.... Actually, I think it was Carrie that came up with all of the songs regarding Sidney. I love them all! Maybe we will record a few of them and post them at a later time. I am sure you will laugh... er, love them too!

Carrie told me of a story of when Sidney was a kitten and they were in Texas with her parents where Dad Shirron was shaking out a blanket... Little did they know that little Sidney had climbed inside and was sleeping. So, when Dad shook out the blanket out flew little Sidney. I can just see Sidney flying out of blanket and probably running for cover.

Carrie and I loved Sidney so much! He was our "child" and he was our "old man". We looked forward to coming home to him after a trip and to seeing him when we were home for lunch. He made our day, lit our nights, and provided a spark to our holidays. We love Christmas Sidney! I loved it when we would be outside and Sidney would want to go outside with us. He would sit at the front door looking out at us meowing and crying because we were not letting him out.

When I would come home for lunch during the week from work, Sidney would almost always greet me. His favorite thing to do was to go out with me to get the mail, go out in the garage and sniff around, and then finally to beg for whatever it was that I was eating for lunch. I loved it!

I feel blessed to have had Sidney in my life. I will miss him forever! Holding him in my arms when the vet put him down was the best and worst thing I have ever done. I am glad that I was able to provide comfort for Sidney as he went to a better place where he will never be uncomfortable again, but I felt like I was letting him down because he trusted me. I know that what we did was the best we could do our boy Sidney. I love him and miss him so much!

Reminder that the entire set of Sidney pictures can be found at http://www.flickr.com/photos/havertyj/sets/72157626907720862/with/5816626784/ As we come across other pictures, we will add them to the set.

I hope you have enjoyed my therapy session as I have gone through my memories of Sidney. If you have memories, I invite you to share those with me by commenting on this post.

Thank you!